why do people get bored in relationships
Communicate Your Needs. It may seem obvious, but a lot of fights are caused because one person's needs aren't being met. If you can calmly communicate what you need from your partner, it will be easier for him to meet them - otherwise he'll just be left guessing in the dark. Listen. Again, it may seem obvious. But communicating to the other person that you've heard him is just as important as actually hearing him. Try reflecting back what your partner has said in your own words. Doing so will make him feel heard and will de-escalate the situation. "I" Statements. Make the argument less personal. Rather than saying, "Pick your clothes off the floor - you're so inconsiderate! ", you should say instead, "I don't like coming home to find your clothes on the floor and wish you would make a point to hang them up instead. " The goal is to minimize the negative impact of what you're saying.
Separate Your Emotions from the Problem. The worst time to bring up a relationship issue is when you're angry or frustrated. Take care of your emotions firstвmaybe by venting your frustration to a friend or therapistвand try to calm down before you bring up the issue with your partner. That way you can focus on the actual problem at hand. Give Positive Feedback. Sit down and make a list of all the things you like about your partner. Then make a point of giving your partner positive feedback by expressing appreciation for the things you like about him.
Doing so will build a solid foundation for the relationship that will make it easier to handle arguments.
Believe it or not, feeling bored in relationship is much more common than you think. Few months into relationship, or perhaps a year or two in some cases, and novelty and hormonal high wear off. You just don t feel the same way anymore. It s normal. What you should realize that it s normal. Most likely your partner didn t change. It s same beautiful person you fell madly in love with. What happened is that novelty effect isn t there anymore, because it simply can t last, be that with your current partner or somebody else.
So what do you do? Do you just go and change partners every six months? Of course not! You should realize you are looking for problem in a wrong place. The excitement and happiness shouldn t come from your partner anyway. It s like searching for your keys in the car when you forgot them at home. You will never find them there. In addition, anything could happen to the other person, if you invest in him that much you lose balance and perspective. You might even push him away by your neediness. Earlier today we covered what to do when you. Read that page now and take steps outlined there. Not to be harsh or anything, but it s like Dr. Phil (Dr. Phillip McGraw) says: Bored people are boring.
When you cure yourself from this chronic boredom you will see things in different light. Your partner isn t there to entertain you. He is a living breathing human being and, just like you, he has his ups and downs. He is not a professional entertainer, nor he is supposed to be. If you suspect he is bored too, carefully suggest a solution. Don t act like a psychologist or like you know it all. Just give ideas and hints on what he could do to feel better. If you think he will be open show him. Perhaps, you could even do something new together. Boredom in relationships and boredom in general will rear its ugly head from time to time. The solution is to remember that it s something to be expected and be prepared to deal with it.
If you read that page on being bored with life, you will see that we recommend to write list of all your problems and solve them one by one or create a list of new skills you would like to learn and get started with whatever is available to you at the moment. When talking about being bored in relationship, you and your partner could share lists. It could be a list of problems you have as a couple, be that emotional or financial, and a list of things you would like to do together or learn together. Working on these lists will not only fix the issues you have with each other and outside world, but also will bring new exciting experiences. Still here? Get started!
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