why do people take breaks in relationships

6. Learning more about your loved one is, of course, invaluable for a healthy partnership (particularly as far as long-term relationships go. ) But somewhere along the way, much like a vessel, we find ourselves falling deeper and deeper into our other half and their whole being, while inevitably losing touch with ourselves and our identity. Take this opportunity to return to your partner with a fresh set of eyes and ears.


After all, the more you know about yourself, your expectations, desires and dreams, the more you're capable of bringing to the table as far as your relationship goes.
'm afraid to say that I've seen couples go on a break hundreds of times, and never known them to get back together stronger or happier.


During my first long-term relationship, after we'd been long-distance for 18 months, I called a break. At the time I would have claimed we needed space from each other (yes, despite the geographical distance), that I wanted to stop us from saying anything to each other that wed regret, and that it was about reflecting on ourselves individuals.


The truth was, I didn't want space. I wanted to feel loved, needed and reassured. I wanted him to get in the car and drive to Bristol to hold me. Or, at least answer my phone calls. Calling a break was a way of without having to break up. The idea was that it would force him to confront the reality of losing me and, when he realised what life would be like without me, he'd try harder and be kinder.


I wanted to use the break as a way to hurt him, to shock him into being a better and more loving boyfriend. You'll be shocked to learn that it didn't work. Of course it didn't. Anyone who needs to be pushed into loving you in the way you need to be loved probably isn't right for you and definitely doesn't value you.


The reality of my break was that I spent three days crying, checking my phone and writing then deleting emotional emails. He got on with his life and waited for me to burn myself out, before sending me a terse three line email asking. I said no. The relationship limped on for another two years.

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